4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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