Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
