I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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