sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
