the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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