he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
a search helicopter?!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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