I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
