i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
