even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize