How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
