ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I supernannyed him into submission
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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