forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
