I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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