That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
