What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
