if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
All I want is dick and wine.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
