i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
