He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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