I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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