I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
