tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
