I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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