Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
