question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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