She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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