it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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