I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The adults are the big ones right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize