yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
