Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
