I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
false alarm, still single
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
