I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
