Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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