you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am never drinking with the goths again.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
