every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
