How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize