are you so shy because you have an std?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
