Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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