Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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