I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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