i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
