Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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