Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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