shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
