he wants to bone in the snuggie
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize