Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
