The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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