No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
