Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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