I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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