When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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