this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
