I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
