did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
