I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
