Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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