oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
