So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
