Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
