week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
