so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
