I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
