what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
