she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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