Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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