everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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