we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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