She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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